I had a great meeting with a friend named Andrew Brill (check out LightBearers, awesome ministry) this past Monday to chat about life, and this guy really encouraged/challenged me. After rambling about what I've been going through, he looked me in the eyes and said "It sounds like you are struggling with Waiting on the Lord..." The dude caught me off guard 'cause he hit me with that heavy stuff right off the bat, and I barely know the guy! Loved it. So, since then I have been thinking about what that even looks like...
Let's get started in Psalm 33.
"Our soul waits for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,
even as we hope in you." (ESV)
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us,
even as we hope in you." (ESV)
This is such a great passage of scripture, and Psalm 27 is as well. I have been examining my own heart to see if I truly put all my trust in God, if I really believe His promises, if I feel purpose from Him.
What does "waiting" even mean? - To be silent; be still; tarry; long for. And from there, what does "tarry" mean, honestly. Well, I have found that it means to linger in expectation or to abide (stay) at a place. WOW!
So, I must linger in expectation for God. Everything that I do right now should be focused on the God of the Universe, waiting expectantly for His Presence. Not just that I would get a job (although that is very necessary for me right now - so please pray!), but that my life would be consumed with Jesus. When I began to surrender everything to Him and let my life be defined by Him then I began to feel actual rest. Rest that I do not feel when I frantically go about my days and weeks, trying to search for employment and purpose in different things. My desire is that God would break me of my selfish, prideful ways and that I could start living a life that mirrors Jesus Christ. Which, by the way, is extremely difficult.... So, it will most certainly require extensive work of the Holy Spirit!
Well, that is what I'm learning right now. It feels really nice to get some of those things out, wow. Also, have been reading an amazing book called Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas. This is a wonderful book for anyone, not just married peeps! It's about God designing marriage to make us Holy not Happy... This process of Sanctification is not a very happy experience. God stripping us of ourselves and making us more like Him is never a pretty picture - note the experience of the Cross (Luke 9:23).
Job stuff is going alright. Up and down. I have gone in for a couple interviews with J.B. Hunt in Rogers, and also talking with a lot of people within the company who are trying to get me on there. We will see what happens... The Lord is in control!
